we keep doing that thing where we make a blog post exactly one month after the last ... !!
anyway, hi. i am a lot happier now than i was a month ago! because i got over myself and i can talk now, basically. so, yay :) today is one of those days... yeah, one of *those* days... i correctly assumed i would have a headache for the rest of the day after the episode dropped and i was right. our eyes hurt, hauu... um, there's this person we knew in middle school who we always disliked, and they're trying to befriend us now (?) or something...? i was dumb, and gave them our number. they like tadc so they texted me after the episode. i didn't really want to talk to them about it (i hate talking to fans about this show), but i grit my teeth and did it so we don't seem unfriendly. we chatted about theories for a moment...and then i said something like,
'i'm just happy i got abstragedy crumbs hehe'
and they said 'they pmo for some reason idk'
... 💢💢💢💢💢💢 my headache got a lot worse!! what did we do to you wahhh!! okay, i know its not their fault they dont know. my situation, but, still... we can't be friends lol!!!??? i'll admit this---my zooble yearning gets a lot worse around episode drops because i know i will get to see them again even if it's just a little bit. honestly, i can't wait for this show to stop and end because i won't feel like i have a personal investment dangling over my head. it's not... extremely serious, i guess, i know some source-connected fictives can get a lot of psychological pain from their source happenings. it's not too bad for me, honestly. but it's the excruciating feeling of... someone... just being missing... your other half... just being gone.
maybe one day i will meet them again under weird circumstances, or maybe one day i'll meet someone here i like more. but i'll never forget them.
also i made them into a move-y puppet thingy.
also i like higurashi ^_^ im reading it its taking forever but its worth it to me! i like rika.
okay, fennel isn't done talking. (oh, yeah, i successfully name changed, that happened too) may i say...why does jax get so much merch!!! okay, i know why. but it peeves me. i don't really like the zooble plush proportions, so, i'm basically starving. i guess i have to make what i want myself... topic change: i think people who don't know a lot about fictionfolk think it's a fun hobby or something. i think that they assume its something you can turn off once you stop having fun or get bored of it. not that i was ever really having fun in the first place---my forming story was a whole thing (also i formed on the 14th of this month last year fun fennel fact!!!), but, anyway. i guess i hate being a fictive. it's weird, because some of us love it. peridot loves his source. i'm a little jealous. have i spoken about this before...maybe...au... but, yeah! i will never not think it cosmically hilarious and depressing that i was put into a body i don't like/identify with in a weird place i don't enjoy much TWICE... seriously.