looking for new names takes you to some really strange places.
um... anyway, i am really thinking about source-seperating a little. well, not...not really in the traditional sense? i'm still me! but both the body AND the name i have in source i. don't like and didn't choose. even in source. do you know who gave me my name? yeah... i've felt so chained... i just might as well, right?... (âŦâŦīšâŦâŦ) i feel like i'm not being the 'good wittle fictive' i was expected to be. it's difficult. being so different from the others. i don't know if you can tell, but i'm just,, i just don't get it. and it's not that i dislike anyone here really!! but i feel awful. i don't like the same humor, i'm some how more shy than everyone else here combined, i can't even do anything. at least moon is really good at talking to people, peri brings light and joy to conversations, rice is everyone's pillar of hope, (to be fair vriska is just kind of there, but without her i'm sure things wouldn't be going well, she's kind of like an integral piece of spaghetti code). what am i doing here? i don't know. every day i think i feel worse. about, everything. myself. my place here. my nonexistent relationships with outersys people. this family? not mine, peri and moon's friends? i'm too scared to talk, and anyway, i can tell the others still think my interests are silly or embarrassing and that is just a lot for a year straight. U_U anyway, i am considering a new name and a new form...! but it'll take me a while to settle on something i like... (though i am gravitating towards a name from fionna and cake which is very funny (no it isn't fionna)). wish me luck... i know i need it... i was supposed to front for two days but i can tell my mental just isn't here. moon has been acting a little weird (in the good way!) so let's see how he fares in front w X_X he's on a joyful streak! i ,,can't relate
ps: isn't it messed up that the person in here i want to talk to most, can barely talk to me? i'm really jealous that everyone else can talk to her, i'll be honest. but... it's ok... i just wish i had 'a person' in here...since everyone else seems to have one...ha!!! X_X maybe one day!!